When reporting a casual data breach, always refer to it as a 'sophisticated hack'

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When reporting a casual data breach, always refer to it as a 'sophisticated hack'

Has anyone seen my croissants?

Alistair Dabbs

May 15, 2025

∙ Paid

EPISODE 10

Stoogey: Morning, Ali.
Ali: Hey, Stoogey. What’s new in the world?
Stoogey: Oh, there’s been a massive theft of customer data at a big company.
Ali: Yes but I asked you what’s new.
Stoogey: They say it was a sophisticated hack.
Ali: Of course they do. When they say “sophisticated hack”, it usually turns out someone at the company left its customer database open by accident. You know, for a short period, like two or three months.
Stoogey: What on earth is that you’re carrying?
Ali: Can’t you see for yourself?
Stoogey: Yes, but this is an audio sketch. The listeners need to hear a description…