One of my earliest internet searches (on Altavista, naturally) was when I'd been trying to reconfigure my home PC to recognise two HDDs rather than one. I just needed to know the dip switch settings for the secondary drive. So of course I typed in "hard drive master slave". Even in those early days there was a surprising amount of graphic detail available online, and office computers didn't yet have content filters...
As a transplant from the UK to the US, it's always amused me to see their euphemisms for the place where you get rid of unwanted metabolic products. Americans don't seem to understand that the words they don't want to use are themselves euphemisms that were once commonly used until they were contaminated by association and had to be euphemised. Inevitably, the current words will simply become unusable themselves.
But then, when as giggly first years at grammar school we were confronted with the word "toilet" being used to describe the art of washing oneself, as written by authors from a different time, we were also the suffering from the disease of euphemitosis.
An Engineer told me before he died..... Oh, no. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait.... Sorry. I'm so sorry.... Again, not for the first time, I've screwed things up here. What a disappointment. Again.
The world is full of misunderstandings, deliberate or not. Frankly, I find it makes life interesting. You can have a quiet smirk or let things blow over without comment. Or often, in my case, not understand at all but pretend to do so.
My favourite example is an official government announcement, broadcast by the BBC. "The Home Office bends over backwards to help every serious sexual offender."
I was working with our young, very attractive and very married new female engineer, when she confessed "I never can remember which is the male connector and which is the female."
Cue several very long seconds of silence, while I tried to think of a response which wouldn't have me hauled up in front of HR. I finally came up with something on the order of "the male is the one with the pin and the female is the one with the socket"
She went on, sadly (she was an excellent engineer), to work in sales...
This week's column entry (wahay) reads like an episode of Ben Elton's "Man from Auntie". Starting of with a particular theme and then meandering all over the place with all manner of suggestive ranting, quickly closing the circle at the very end.
That was a breath of fresh air from the antedeluvian times when people sell knew what humour was, and didn't take offence at everything. Thank you, Dabbsy!
Somebody should have written "The Art of Coarse Programming", keeping up the fine British tradition of coarseness. Bluffing? That's what Brits have to do every day just to get by.
Lots of people mention hookers, but coming from an area where the majority sport involves odd shaped balls, I wonder if the props were involved as well.
1577 words to go from introducing "pegging" to an actually perfect Tesco joke. I am duly impressed.
One of my earliest internet searches (on Altavista, naturally) was when I'd been trying to reconfigure my home PC to recognise two HDDs rather than one. I just needed to know the dip switch settings for the secondary drive. So of course I typed in "hard drive master slave". Even in those early days there was a surprising amount of graphic detail available online, and office computers didn't yet have content filters...
We have a copy of the profanisaurus in the office, which can be used to prove that anything is a euphemism, including euphemism itself
As a transplant from the UK to the US, it's always amused me to see their euphemisms for the place where you get rid of unwanted metabolic products. Americans don't seem to understand that the words they don't want to use are themselves euphemisms that were once commonly used until they were contaminated by association and had to be euphemised. Inevitably, the current words will simply become unusable themselves.
But then, when as giggly first years at grammar school we were confronted with the word "toilet" being used to describe the art of washing oneself, as written by authors from a different time, we were also the suffering from the disease of euphemitosis.
An Engineer told me before he died..... Oh, no. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait.... Sorry. I'm so sorry.... Again, not for the first time, I've screwed things up here. What a disappointment. Again.
The world is full of misunderstandings, deliberate or not. Frankly, I find it makes life interesting. You can have a quiet smirk or let things blow over without comment. Or often, in my case, not understand at all but pretend to do so.
My favourite example is an official government announcement, broadcast by the BBC. "The Home Office bends over backwards to help every serious sexual offender."
I was working with our young, very attractive and very married new female engineer, when she confessed "I never can remember which is the male connector and which is the female."
Cue several very long seconds of silence, while I tried to think of a response which wouldn't have me hauled up in front of HR. I finally came up with something on the order of "the male is the one with the pin and the female is the one with the socket"
She went on, sadly (she was an excellent engineer), to work in sales...
This week's column entry (wahay) reads like an episode of Ben Elton's "Man from Auntie". Starting of with a particular theme and then meandering all over the place with all manner of suggestive ranting, quickly closing the circle at the very end.
That's meant as a compliment, BTW.
Sexual innuendo? Nope don't see it,
Pauses to insert a 8" floppy into the correct orifice and mount the backup drive
Never understood how can one have a 8" floppy and a 3.5" hard...
Disks are based on TARDIS technology, the smaller they are on the outside, the larger they are on the inside
Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/691/
Aussie's call 3.5in diskettes "stiffies" don't they?
Is that real? Being Australia I am not too surprised, but still... Damn!
I saw it on The Register and I believe everything I read. https://www.theregister.com/2019/04/26/on-call/
I believe Aussie's call 3.5" diskettes 'Leading edge technology'
Dangermouse! Nice reference there! Now what's a Penfold?
Actually this has to be the most entertaining column I have read in a while. Good way to wake up on a Saturday!
That was a breath of fresh air from the antedeluvian times when people sell knew what humour was, and didn't take offence at everything. Thank you, Dabbsy!
Isn't an innuendo an Italian suppository?
Somebody should have written "The Art of Coarse Programming", keeping up the fine British tradition of coarseness. Bluffing? That's what Brits have to do every day just to get by.
"and fell on the bathtaps", yeah right, they hear that in A&E all the time!
Every subject is prone to sexual innuendo, if you go deep enough. If you can't find it, then try harder!
Old boring geology, for example... https://xkcd.com/1082/
Lots of people mention hookers, but coming from an area where the majority sport involves odd shaped balls, I wonder if the props were involved as well.