Oh Alistair you gullible fool, that was no IOT Field Service Technician, that was the scheduled maintenance on all of the spy kit installed in your house as kindly elucidated by you some weeks ago
We had TV repair chap with our last TV, early days of digital TV and the specifications kept changing. a number of software updates, a hardware change, left right swap over for the audio cables.
Final update was for the CAM. I still have the OnCAM somewhere.
10 years dervice then they changed the spec again and all of my DTTV kit was obsolete, luckily I had bought the LCD panel I still have, and the purchaser of my old TV had a sat box. Oh and I had a recent Humax HD PVR as well.
Before those of us brought up on Carry On films shuffle off, will we have to train the new generation in the art of the double-entendre, as in "The student asked for an example of an innuendo so I gave her one"?
tbh I have no sympathy for Frank, having failed to replay Roesch and Schlange correctly and then resign I can feel very little pity for him, he got what he deserved
None of the TV repairmen (yes, very gender-specific back in the day) wore boiler suits. Better class of chap from Radio Rentals? Or was it Granada? Can't be sure. But I am certain about the powerful whiff of solder always present at these events, and its crackle and fizzing.
"Careful not to touch my tool, Mrs Trellis, it is very hot indeed"
Tv repair men were everywhere when I was growing up, I think more likely to be in boiler suits than bow ties…. Most people I think rented TVs as they were too expensive to buy outright I think in the 80s (I was still at school) a tv would cost about £500 which is the same £ value as today but in the 80s a house was about 20k so that would make a normal tv about £10000 if the prices had stayed in step. We also rented a video recorder as well.
I also remember my grandparents calling out Cottons tv rental in Peterborough because they hadn’t turned the plug on.
I did similar and then later brought a spare TV from may parents they no longer needed. Radio rentals were not very happy when I returned the rented one and asked for the rental agreement to be stopped.
It's a question of money. When you're lower middle class, you get nothing from your parents and nothing from the government. Going to a pub to buy one drink was a weekly event. Watching telly in the shared living room was free, once you'd persuaded the other strangers in the house to chip in for the TV and a licence. Of course, there's always be one who refused, saying they never watched TV... and of course you'd come back after work to find them doing exactly that.
Aug 11, 2023·edited Aug 11, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
Surely very wide flat caps, braces and black puddings up there, but that might be t'other side of the Pennines of course. No bow ties. Down here they looked like geography teachers: brown suits and ties tucked into pullovers
If only your IoT had an LED or LCD to advise you of such actions performed on your behalf. Heck, even the remote vendor system could have sent an email/SMS to alert your device had been in contact.
IoT central heating here. Sky router goes ‘Ooooops, I’ve forgotten how to communicate with that internet thing just down the road from this excellent property’, at which point devices can see the router but not go anywhere external. Broadband eventually kicks back into live, and Bosch wireless radio, Pure radio, ASUS router extender, iPads, iPhones, etc. all kick into life but weirdly the Sky router and the Worcester Bosch boiler wireless key refuse to communicate with each other. You have to reset the Bosch boiler wireless key physically before it picks up the fact the Sky router is visible on the airwaves - at all times there’s power to the wireless key.
Nothing worse than the significant other staring at you with the words ‘The heating is not coming on’ reaching your ears in the dark of winter.
Apart from the obvious reason of buying technical items for a non-technical person, even considering a robotic vacuum, or ‘Let me into your home when you are not here’ Bluetooth managed door lock mechanism would result in me being shown said door faster that you could say ‘…but IoT is the future!’.
Once knew someone who replaced his physical TV with a Myth TV, digital tuners, amplifiers, floor speakers, a video projector, and a mile of cabling brining it together. His other half was for ever screaming at the setup when it wasn’t working. Sometimes simplicity is what people need.
I’m rubbish at internet of things. One time I got a Philips RGB light bulb in a Christmas gift exchange. The bulb has a wi-fi connection plus an ‘app’ for the iPhone, bit of a nuisance (compared to any other ordinary bulb). How many it technicians does it take to change a light bulb, well, I suppose it depends how your network firewall is configured?
Honestly I am so grateful that the damn thing is smart enough to revert to ‘normal’ mode, because I never remember to use the phone to turn the light off… inevitably I always use the wall switch.
(I got the robovac but sadly there are so many loose usb cords around it’s genuinely easier to use the normal vac. More ‘lunkhead’ than Luddite…)
Aug 12, 2023·edited Aug 12, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
And there you have hit the nail squarely on the head ( to use a term from a previous technical revolution), IoT devices are designed and built for the 'Bro's in SF and Washington State' for Mr. Joe Public they are worse than fucking useless.
Anyone remember the slogan from the 80's? 'A computer in every home'
The most stupid thing we, in the IT industry, ever dreamt up
Oh Alistair you gullible fool, that was no IOT Field Service Technician, that was the scheduled maintenance on all of the spy kit installed in your house as kindly elucidated by you some weeks ago
And which of course has been signed up in the aforementioned several thousand page Ts&C's.
Of course blogging about this is strictly verboten, see the NDA appendix...
We had TV repair chap with our last TV, early days of digital TV and the specifications kept changing. a number of software updates, a hardware change, left right swap over for the audio cables.
Final update was for the CAM. I still have the OnCAM somewhere.
10 years dervice then they changed the spec again and all of my DTTV kit was obsolete, luckily I had bought the LCD panel I still have, and the purchaser of my old TV had a sat box. Oh and I had a recent Humax HD PVR as well.
And I did not get a Monkey until he sold teabags.
Before those of us brought up on Carry On films shuffle off, will we have to train the new generation in the art of the double-entendre, as in "The student asked for an example of an innuendo so I gave her one"?
Better make a list of them before it's too late. "Miss Jones? Take this down."
When the "field service technician" arrives to replace your "faulty" AE-35 unit without warning is the appropriate time to panic.
If they could disable the lip-reading upgrade, all the better.
Now that would be spooky as surely the AE-35 is needed to summon the FST in the first place
The FST of course already knows that there was never an issue with the AE-35 !
Fair point. But... is he/she going to tell Hal or Dave that?
Dave ain't daft, he will know that the very appearance of an FST could only mean that the AE-35 was not faulty.
To paraphrase Mr. Python
'The computer was lying, I shall return to Bolton'
Forget about Hal and Dave, man! What about poor Frank?
tbh I have no sympathy for Frank, having failed to replay Roesch and Schlange correctly and then resign I can feel very little pity for him, he got what he deserved
Or the ED-209 - better have OCP001 on speed dial!
None of the TV repairmen (yes, very gender-specific back in the day) wore boiler suits. Better class of chap from Radio Rentals? Or was it Granada? Can't be sure. But I am certain about the powerful whiff of solder always present at these events, and its crackle and fizzing.
"Careful not to touch my tool, Mrs Trellis, it is very hot indeed"
Maybe in the south of England they wore bow ties and smoking jackets. In West Yorkshire, they wore boiler suits.
Tv repair men were everywhere when I was growing up, I think more likely to be in boiler suits than bow ties…. Most people I think rented TVs as they were too expensive to buy outright I think in the 80s (I was still at school) a tv would cost about £500 which is the same £ value as today but in the 80s a house was about 20k so that would make a normal tv about £10000 if the prices had stayed in step. We also rented a video recorder as well.
I also remember my grandparents calling out Cottons tv rental in Peterborough because they hadn’t turned the plug on.
My Dad owned his TV. But when I left home to work in London, I shared a house with 5 strangers and we chipped in to rent a colour telly between us.
I did similar and then later brought a spare TV from may parents they no longer needed. Radio rentals were not very happy when I returned the rented one and asked for the rental agreement to be stopped.
You moved to London as a young, single man and spent your spare time watching the telly? You poor benighted soul
It's a question of money. When you're lower middle class, you get nothing from your parents and nothing from the government. Going to a pub to buy one drink was a weekly event. Watching telly in the shared living room was free, once you'd persuaded the other strangers in the house to chip in for the TV and a licence. Of course, there's always be one who refused, saying they never watched TV... and of course you'd come back after work to find them doing exactly that.
That's why you should have become a software developer instead of a journalist, money becomes a non problem
My step granddad was one of those TV repairmen. And yes my fading memory has him wearing a plain navy blue boiler suit, though no hard hat!
No company logo for him, he was independent.
And that was on the other side of the Pennines :)
Surely very wide flat caps, braces and black puddings up there, but that might be t'other side of the Pennines of course. No bow ties. Down here they looked like geography teachers: brown suits and ties tucked into pullovers
Oh by the way I forgot about this scene from The Cable Guy based on the Star Trek fight. https://youtu.be/I5n28hpMFBE
If only your IoT had an LED or LCD to advise you of such actions performed on your behalf. Heck, even the remote vendor system could have sent an email/SMS to alert your device had been in contact.
IoT central heating here. Sky router goes ‘Ooooops, I’ve forgotten how to communicate with that internet thing just down the road from this excellent property’, at which point devices can see the router but not go anywhere external. Broadband eventually kicks back into live, and Bosch wireless radio, Pure radio, ASUS router extender, iPads, iPhones, etc. all kick into life but weirdly the Sky router and the Worcester Bosch boiler wireless key refuse to communicate with each other. You have to reset the Bosch boiler wireless key physically before it picks up the fact the Sky router is visible on the airwaves - at all times there’s power to the wireless key.
Nothing worse than the significant other staring at you with the words ‘The heating is not coming on’ reaching your ears in the dark of winter.
Apart from the obvious reason of buying technical items for a non-technical person, even considering a robotic vacuum, or ‘Let me into your home when you are not here’ Bluetooth managed door lock mechanism would result in me being shown said door faster that you could say ‘…but IoT is the future!’.
Once knew someone who replaced his physical TV with a Myth TV, digital tuners, amplifiers, floor speakers, a video projector, and a mile of cabling brining it together. His other half was for ever screaming at the setup when it wasn’t working. Sometimes simplicity is what people need.
Alexa tell you to order new batteries for the FireStick TV remote when they are deemed too low. The cheeky minx.
Now here's a thing: my battery tester always indicates that a battery has around 70% capacity when it is too weak to actually do anything.
I’m rubbish at internet of things. One time I got a Philips RGB light bulb in a Christmas gift exchange. The bulb has a wi-fi connection plus an ‘app’ for the iPhone, bit of a nuisance (compared to any other ordinary bulb). How many it technicians does it take to change a light bulb, well, I suppose it depends how your network firewall is configured?
Honestly I am so grateful that the damn thing is smart enough to revert to ‘normal’ mode, because I never remember to use the phone to turn the light off… inevitably I always use the wall switch.
(I got the robovac but sadly there are so many loose usb cords around it’s genuinely easier to use the normal vac. More ‘lunkhead’ than Luddite…)
And there you have hit the nail squarely on the head ( to use a term from a previous technical revolution), IoT devices are designed and built for the 'Bro's in SF and Washington State' for Mr. Joe Public they are worse than fucking useless.
Anyone remember the slogan from the 80's? 'A computer in every home'
The most stupid thing we, in the IT industry, ever dreamt up
I've been seeing some chatter about Amazon having pushed out a software release that's "bricked" some Firesticks.
Presumably they'll need to send out their Field Force, or maybe swarm of drones to fix them!