You know that ‘lifetime guarantee’ you offered me? Apparently I died already
Beyond the gates of Hell lies… the Customer Returns desk
May I have a replacement, please?
“Sir? You have only just bought it.”
Yes. But it’s broken. I would like it replaced.
“I don’t understand, sir. This is the checkout. You have just now paid for the goods. You haven’t even left the shop.”
Well I thought I’d save time having to bring it back later.
Welcome to my personal retail world. Whatever I buy, it’ll be …
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