Not to mention the on- and off-boarding process suddenly getting a lot weirder and longer.
But I'm surprised this idea is receiving any consideration, just on cost factors. It can't be cheaper to have an appropriately qualified person implanting RFID chips into new employees' hands than it is to replace lost cards/fobs every now and then.
Futurama-style career chips actually make MORE sense than this idea. Perhaps by the year 3000 the reliability of RFID chips and readers will have improved.
Yes, onboarding *is* weirder and longer, isn't it? They should teach it in UI/UX schools: the worst on-screen form concept and implementation in the world will always be any onboarding routine devised by HR.
It has always been my understanding the reason executive shitters were so heavily protected against unauthorised access was because that is where the deep arts of C.Y.A. were taught which are not, of course, available to us mere mortals.
As for granting employee access, simple, don't. Let the buggers work from home and use their own (non-expensable nor tax deductible) Kleenex.
In the one place where I worked that did have corporate washrooms, they had the good sense to locate them on a separate floor of the building. Legend has it that there was an executive gym on that floor too, although none of them used it, judging by their pendulous bellies.
Someone once pointed out a frosted window on the 6th floor, visible from the atrium lift, where the executive gym was supposed to be. We could see the shadow of a wheel turning and we supposed one of the lords was using an exercise bike. Or perhaps that's where they locked up the princess and had her spin straw into gold.
I was given a security RFID 'fob' to gain entry to the machinery room of a top secret, high technology, uninterruptible public process; OK, it was a sewage works but don't tell anyone.
This bloody fob didn't work so it was to and fro to the 'Issuing Office' for an update/reprogramming. On the fourth attempt, (the day was moving on and the 'machines' were waiting my expert attention), the foreman/manager, who was in danger of getting home late for his tea, 'buzzed' us through on his fob. All well and good.
Get the data, tweak a setting or two, job done, time to leave..... Except that we couldn't now get out and the foreman had "Gone home for his tea".
Fortunately, a delivery driver arrived and the gates were opened wide and so we matched out to freedom and our car.
We were told off a week later as apparently, we were still on site.
Been there, done that. I worked for a client that had a car park that was only enterable by keyfob. Once, late at night, I wandered in with a colleague and then found I could not leave, neither the gate to go out with my car nor the door to go back into the building would open because 'I was not in the garage'
As I've probably noted before, a job I had in the far distant past when RF cards were a revolutionary idea, issued said items to all and sundry. This was only slightly less inconvenient and insecure than giving everybody keys to the building, but whatever. The company's taste for technology also ran to having a PA system over which an out-of-work actor would frequently request that Paul Portulaca, or some other name we didn't know too well, would please call the operator. I tried to suggest that the half dozen sales droids who were the most frequent callees might have pagers instead, but to no avail. The announcers voice was well-trained though, I have to admit.
Back to the magic cards: the door to the atrium wherein the gents lay had a reader just below hip height on the outside to allow re-entry. So, back pockets being the place where wallets were stashed, it was common to sidle up to the doorway for a gluteal bump. What the few ladies did in the same situation was not recorded.
Back in Blighty we had one neighbour who owned two cats, the other neighbour with no pets at all. You can imagine whose garden our cat preferred. Worse, for him, he was an avid bird-watcher and had to suffer the horror of watching our cat regularly leap upon winged visitors to the feeding tray and bird bath in his garden. But we remained on good terms with him since, while he had to suffer our cat's murderous regime on his property, our neighbour was an active volunteer with the local Conservative Party. In terms of pure evil, that made us just about even.
Not to mention the on- and off-boarding process suddenly getting a lot weirder and longer.
But I'm surprised this idea is receiving any consideration, just on cost factors. It can't be cheaper to have an appropriately qualified person implanting RFID chips into new employees' hands than it is to replace lost cards/fobs every now and then.
Futurama-style career chips actually make MORE sense than this idea. Perhaps by the year 3000 the reliability of RFID chips and readers will have improved.
Yes, onboarding *is* weirder and longer, isn't it? They should teach it in UI/UX schools: the worst on-screen form concept and implementation in the world will always be any onboarding routine devised by HR.
It has always been my understanding the reason executive shitters were so heavily protected against unauthorised access was because that is where the deep arts of C.Y.A. were taught which are not, of course, available to us mere mortals.
As for granting employee access, simple, don't. Let the buggers work from home and use their own (non-expensable nor tax deductible) Kleenex.
In the one place where I worked that did have corporate washrooms, they had the good sense to locate them on a separate floor of the building. Legend has it that there was an executive gym on that floor too, although none of them used it, judging by their pendulous bellies.
Did you not know, 'Executive Gym' is a synonym for 'Wet Bar (possibly including young ladies of negotiable affection)'
Someone once pointed out a frosted window on the 6th floor, visible from the atrium lift, where the executive gym was supposed to be. We could see the shadow of a wheel turning and we supposed one of the lords was using an exercise bike. Or perhaps that's where they locked up the princess and had her spin straw into gold.
RFID? How quaint. I just got let into 2 countries through facial recognition alone. (Probably featuring "AI".)
Why would anyone want to have a livestock ID implanted subcutaneous?
Absolutely, they should implement an AI with the energy consumption of Norway just so I can have a waz.
"AI" used to mean something else, in livestock circles, did it not?
tbh, If it meant having to avoid 3 hour queues at airport passport control I would quite happily have a PC stapled to my gonads.
Your gonads would have to removed in order to pass them through the x-ray.
I can live with that, at my age I don't have a lot of use for them anyway
I was given a security RFID 'fob' to gain entry to the machinery room of a top secret, high technology, uninterruptible public process; OK, it was a sewage works but don't tell anyone.
This bloody fob didn't work so it was to and fro to the 'Issuing Office' for an update/reprogramming. On the fourth attempt, (the day was moving on and the 'machines' were waiting my expert attention), the foreman/manager, who was in danger of getting home late for his tea, 'buzzed' us through on his fob. All well and good.
Get the data, tweak a setting or two, job done, time to leave..... Except that we couldn't now get out and the foreman had "Gone home for his tea".
Fortunately, a delivery driver arrived and the gates were opened wide and so we matched out to freedom and our car.
We were told off a week later as apparently, we were still on site.
Been there, done that. I worked for a client that had a car park that was only enterable by keyfob. Once, late at night, I wandered in with a colleague and then found I could not leave, neither the gate to go out with my car nor the door to go back into the building would open because 'I was not in the garage'
As I've probably noted before, a job I had in the far distant past when RF cards were a revolutionary idea, issued said items to all and sundry. This was only slightly less inconvenient and insecure than giving everybody keys to the building, but whatever. The company's taste for technology also ran to having a PA system over which an out-of-work actor would frequently request that Paul Portulaca, or some other name we didn't know too well, would please call the operator. I tried to suggest that the half dozen sales droids who were the most frequent callees might have pagers instead, but to no avail. The announcers voice was well-trained though, I have to admit.
Back to the magic cards: the door to the atrium wherein the gents lay had a reader just below hip height on the outside to allow re-entry. So, back pockets being the place where wallets were stashed, it was common to sidle up to the doorway for a gluteal bump. What the few ladies did in the same situation was not recorded.
One day she'll [the cat] give up going out altogether and take a dump on my pillow instead.
Better than using your neighbour's garden.
Love
Your neighbour
Back in Blighty we had one neighbour who owned two cats, the other neighbour with no pets at all. You can imagine whose garden our cat preferred. Worse, for him, he was an avid bird-watcher and had to suffer the horror of watching our cat regularly leap upon winged visitors to the feeding tray and bird bath in his garden. But we remained on good terms with him since, while he had to suffer our cat's murderous regime on his property, our neighbour was an active volunteer with the local Conservative Party. In terms of pure evil, that made us just about even.