The big troouble I have with the noises that remain is that on Windows they're so terribly unfocused. EVERYTHING has to make a noise, like a child that wants constant attention. If my Mac or my Linux box makes a sound, it's usually for a good reason, moreover it's usually one that I have approved of. On Windows it is as if Microsoft has merely transferred Vista's habit of asking for approval of mouse movements into sounds. Insert a USB stick: sound. Remove it: sound. Run an update: multiple sounds. Something happens somewhere in any old app, presumably even in the ones you're not forced to run like Teams: sound, and good luck finding out what the &^$ sound was for, because that would be FAR too useful to be allowed on the Windows platform. The good news: you can mute the speaker. The bad news: the useful sounds, naturally, go with it. However, I'm glad it's still not at crime TV level where every character appearing as if we're still in the steamdriven era of computing HAS to beep as well.
True story. At an events company in Toronto the production manager was named John, but was universally called "God" because of his seeming inability to ever make a mistake.
On Wednesday we took delivery on a collection of then brand new pizza box Macintosh computers, each with an actual microphone.
Thursday morning everyone in the office found that if they made ANY mistake the Production Manager's voice boomed out:
"This is GOD. You made a MISTAKE and I know about it!"
Thank you for reminding me that it is not just me who only listens to my gadgets through headphones!
I was listening to a review of a Chromebook/Tablet recently and the speaker said how rubbish the speakers were. I thought that this was not even a consideration.
As soon as the 'lergy hit, the entire NHS got Teams.The first thing we did was to order everyone who wanted a set of headphones. It has made the offices much nicer and anyone who wants to listen to music can now do so and there is a lot less Radio1 to be heard!
It has reached the point where when I have to attend my companies office space, I physically twitch when hearing other peoples computer alert noises. Which is a problem, since we now use Teams for everything and most people can't be bothered to differentiate between "call" alert tones and "IM" alert tones, so they *have* to have sounds on otherwise they might miss an important call, dontcherknow? *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping**ping**ping**ping*. Made even worse when everyone is on the same group chat!
Then there is the ShouldHaverRetiredYearsAgo VP who insists on leaving their office door open while having calls with no headphones and volume on full. And wonders loudly why people don't want to come back to the office.
Why, oh why can't these stupid applications play only *one* notification when several messages are received in quick succession?
WhatsApp is infuriating in how it cuts the current beep to play it again, just to cut it again and again.
Not that I do that, my phone has been in silent mode for a decade (starting to see a pattern among readers) but a relative does and I'm tempted to throw the cell phone in the toilet every time it happens... And take a dump over it afterwards
I find, as we inexorably shift away from engaged conversation towards carefully tailored text, people don't seem to answer actual voice calls any more, so ringtones have kind of lost their purpose. Or perhaps it's just me they don't want to speak to.
You might have enjoyed the music at my wedding reception - my wife and I decided to enter the venue to a song by Cardiacs, a band famous for their discordant compositions. We'd did chicken out a bit though by using their almost conventional song "Is This The Life" rather than a full on barking mad one like "To Go Off And Things".
Man oh man, am I behind the times... I've just started assigning personal ringtones to people and apps. What do you expect from an old curmudgeon, now get off my lawn!
Another bugbear is that certain websites automatically play sounds, music or both without bothering to ask whether this should be allowed. It is the modern equivalent of repeatedly shouting "LOOK AT ME!" in a library.
Most of my web use is with internal speakers muted and headphones unplugged for this reason.
The number of times such a site sneaks through when my defences are down hints that there are many sites which do this.
Surprisingly, YouTube often, but not always, takes the opposite stance, starting videos with its own control set to "mute".
The Windows beeps/boops/bips etc. adopt the most irritating noises. 'Turning off all sounds' doesn't. Such a crap piece of user-interface design (I hesitated to use the word 'design'; surely no designer could do that on-purpose?) you have to wonder if they had run out of ideas (answer: seemingly so).
The main purpose of phone tings/tongs/riddips etc. must be to broadcast "Look at me. Look at me. I've got a message. I must be very important."
When we meet in the pub, my intellectual friends and I never get messages or calls. We only use the phones to verify important facts in our arguments, on the understanding that all facts are subject to argument.
I ought to declare that my phone goes ring-ring....
The orchestral fax machine is a walk down memory lane. As an international traveller (and 20 years before the internet) I became an expert at dis-assembling hotel telephones to directly connect my portable fax machine. I wasn't always able to re-assemble them 100% and often wondered what transpired after I checked out the hotel!
The big troouble I have with the noises that remain is that on Windows they're so terribly unfocused. EVERYTHING has to make a noise, like a child that wants constant attention. If my Mac or my Linux box makes a sound, it's usually for a good reason, moreover it's usually one that I have approved of. On Windows it is as if Microsoft has merely transferred Vista's habit of asking for approval of mouse movements into sounds. Insert a USB stick: sound. Remove it: sound. Run an update: multiple sounds. Something happens somewhere in any old app, presumably even in the ones you're not forced to run like Teams: sound, and good luck finding out what the &^$ sound was for, because that would be FAR too useful to be allowed on the Windows platform. The good news: you can mute the speaker. The bad news: the useful sounds, naturally, go with it. However, I'm glad it's still not at crime TV level where every character appearing as if we're still in the steamdriven era of computing HAS to beep as well.
I give that another couple of weeks..
I'd be interested to know how someone with sight impairment goes about organising their Windows sounds to make them useful.
Someone I'm acquainted with uses screen reading software. It comes with a "turn off all Windows noises" setting.
As always, Dave Plummer has you covered here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSMnP1zPDhs
True story. At an events company in Toronto the production manager was named John, but was universally called "God" because of his seeming inability to ever make a mistake.
On Wednesday we took delivery on a collection of then brand new pizza box Macintosh computers, each with an actual microphone.
Thursday morning everyone in the office found that if they made ANY mistake the Production Manager's voice boomed out:
"This is GOD. You made a MISTAKE and I know about it!"
That, to me, was peak computer.
Thank you for reminding me that it is not just me who only listens to my gadgets through headphones!
I was listening to a review of a Chromebook/Tablet recently and the speaker said how rubbish the speakers were. I thought that this was not even a consideration.
As soon as the 'lergy hit, the entire NHS got Teams.The first thing we did was to order everyone who wanted a set of headphones. It has made the offices much nicer and anyone who wants to listen to music can now do so and there is a lot less Radio1 to be heard!
It has reached the point where when I have to attend my companies office space, I physically twitch when hearing other peoples computer alert noises. Which is a problem, since we now use Teams for everything and most people can't be bothered to differentiate between "call" alert tones and "IM" alert tones, so they *have* to have sounds on otherwise they might miss an important call, dontcherknow? *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping**ping**ping**ping*. Made even worse when everyone is on the same group chat!
Then there is the ShouldHaverRetiredYearsAgo VP who insists on leaving their office door open while having calls with no headphones and volume on full. And wonders loudly why people don't want to come back to the office.
Why, oh why can't these stupid applications play only *one* notification when several messages are received in quick succession?
WhatsApp is infuriating in how it cuts the current beep to play it again, just to cut it again and again.
Not that I do that, my phone has been in silent mode for a decade (starting to see a pattern among readers) but a relative does and I'm tempted to throw the cell phone in the toilet every time it happens... And take a dump over it afterwards
Back when we all had cubicles, I had my "new mail" sound set to this: https://www.barbneal.com/wp-content/uploads/mailsin.mp3
Yeah, I was in my early 20s. Now, all sounds are silenced.
Dud a dur dur, dud a dur dur, dud a dur dur duuuuuur
"I have no, I have no, I have no, imagination"
I find, as we inexorably shift away from engaged conversation towards carefully tailored text, people don't seem to answer actual voice calls any more, so ringtones have kind of lost their purpose. Or perhaps it's just me they don't want to speak to.
You might have enjoyed the music at my wedding reception - my wife and I decided to enter the venue to a song by Cardiacs, a band famous for their discordant compositions. We'd did chicken out a bit though by using their almost conventional song "Is This The Life" rather than a full on barking mad one like "To Go Off And Things".
Thanks for that. I'd forgotten that the Cardiacs could sometimes out-Devo Devo.
Man oh man, am I behind the times... I've just started assigning personal ringtones to people and apps. What do you expect from an old curmudgeon, now get off my lawn!
I used to work with someone who did that - it got very tedious when every time his girlfriend called we all got serenaded with Vaders march,
Mind you a friends phone screams Alan (his name that nobody uses) every time he gets a message
My cousin had a Wookie yell for his wife's ringtone, but it only had one burst, which I think was sufficient.
I used to have a quite offensive cartoon song for my boss' number, until the day he called me while we were both at the office...
For reference: https://youtu.be/48XreePDi8k?t=52
Another bugbear is that certain websites automatically play sounds, music or both without bothering to ask whether this should be allowed. It is the modern equivalent of repeatedly shouting "LOOK AT ME!" in a library.
Most of my web use is with internal speakers muted and headphones unplugged for this reason.
The number of times such a site sneaks through when my defences are down hints that there are many sites which do this.
Surprisingly, YouTube often, but not always, takes the opposite stance, starting videos with its own control set to "mute".
The Windows beeps/boops/bips etc. adopt the most irritating noises. 'Turning off all sounds' doesn't. Such a crap piece of user-interface design (I hesitated to use the word 'design'; surely no designer could do that on-purpose?) you have to wonder if they had run out of ideas (answer: seemingly so).
The main purpose of phone tings/tongs/riddips etc. must be to broadcast "Look at me. Look at me. I've got a message. I must be very important."
When we meet in the pub, my intellectual friends and I never get messages or calls. We only use the phones to verify important facts in our arguments, on the understanding that all facts are subject to argument.
I ought to declare that my phone goes ring-ring....
The orchestral fax machine is a walk down memory lane. As an international traveller (and 20 years before the internet) I became an expert at dis-assembling hotel telephones to directly connect my portable fax machine. I wasn't always able to re-assemble them 100% and often wondered what transpired after I checked out the hotel!
The hotel manager probably assumed you were an international man of mystery who had checked his phone for bugging devices. Yeah baby!