Somewhat off-topic, but why do all Metal lead guitarists (and a large majority of <i>all</i> lead guitarists) have such a strong need not only to share their upper body scrawniness but also to emphasise it with tattoos & upper-arm bangles?
Jan 13, 2023·edited Jan 13, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
Slightly related, but nowhere as involved as this, I went to Screwfix this week to pick up a folding ladder.
Normal procedure - until sometime in the very recent past at the branch in question - was to go up to the counter and queue behind the various workmen who frequent the place, each ordering on the fly about thirty different items, and involving flipping through the catalogue to identify them.
When you eventually got to the front, you'd show the assistant the text message with the order number on it, and you'd be out inside 3 minutes (that's 20 + 3 minutes allowing for the people in front).
When I went in this time, they waited until I got to the front, asked if I was collecting, and then directed me with no explanation to a brand new row of self-check-in machines in the corner.
They were self-explanatory. But firstly, I didn't have my reading glasses with me, and my arm was about 20cm shorter than it needed to be for me to read the text message order number comfortably.
The next problem - after I'd stood there arm outstretched and doing funny things winking my eyes to discern each character - was that the touchscreen wasn't as touchy as it ought to be, so it missed characters. After only three tries, I eventually got it and my ladder came out three minutes later. Or 3 + 6, if you allow for the faffing about.
Sounds like it will be more efficient for you too, now that you know to go there. 6 + 3 is less than 20 + 3 -- and if you bring your reading glasses next time, it should be less still.
Jan 13, 2023·edited Jan 13, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
You forgot about all the online services that firstly assume that it is your router that is at fault, despite being able to receive the message that this might be the case.
Jan 13, 2023·edited Jan 13, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
Not saying it happened to me, no, but some years ago, when all hotels did not have en-suite bathrooms, after retiring but then awakening, regretting that extra couple of pints, visiting the bathroom and on return finding one is locked out of ones bedroom.... The visit to the manned (not necessarily by a man) reception, whilst dressed (or actually, not) evoked much tittering at breakfast.
Would a machine have been more sympathetic? In truth, it wouldn't have worked.
I know this is unfashionable to admit but I think HP Instant Ink is MUCH cheaper than buying cartridges one by one. The Instant Ink cartridges have a capacity that lasts about 10x longer than those off the shelf. And no-brand inks are utter shit. Utter. Colours all wrong, consistency is either syrup or etholin glycol, f*ck up your printer good and proper.
I used to have a colour laser which was great for running off lots of copies. The problem was that although I needed to replace the carts only two or three times a year, each time it £400 a set. And every now and then I had to replace some arcane consumable part that nobody ever warns you about such as an oil reserve or a waste toner box, which added to the running costs. Not least, when a power surge fries your £50 inkjet, you can buy another £50 inkjet - cheaper than a single laser toner cartridge.
I thought that my Brother Colour Lazer had black toner .....then i realized it was very very very very very very VERY very very dark blue - they'll shaft you every time.
Jan 14, 2023·edited Jan 14, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
Oh, and get this.
I transferred my Instant Ink account to the new printer, no problem. Except that it IS a problem, because the new printer needs a different sized cartridge, and it will take 'up to ten days' to get the full ones.
In the meanwhile, I have the supplied cartridges, which everyone knows are nearly empty. And one of them is already, which creates problems of its own, it seems.
You see, I test-printed a photo of Alex Lifeson I took at a Rush gig a few years ago. Due to the lighting at the time, it is predominantly blue-ish. It came out pretty good, except for some lines on the bluest areas, so I did a head clean - all three levels. Then I test printed again, and it was better, but still not perfect, so I did the three-level head clean again.
Well, it stopped at two and a half, because the sodding Cyan cartridge is now 'depleted'. The damned thing must have been about 5% full at best. But at least the second clean had given a perfect output, so I was heading in the right direction.
The annoying thing is I have EIGHT full cartridges from my old printer, but they are now unusable (HP told me they'd be so once my previous contract was closed) and they don't fit this new printer anyway.
I looked at buying set on Amazon and almost had a coronary when I saw how much they cost. I decided against it - it was why I went down the Instant Ink route to start with.
And then I found out - I think, anyway - that if you have a depleted cartridge installed, the smartphone app won't find your printer, because the printer tells everyone who tries to talk to it that it is screwed as a result.
I wish they'd put a full set of cartridges in the retail box to start with instead of sending you some stuff that was about to be sent to landfill. I'm bloody certain that the 'empty' ones I send back have got more ink in them than the ones you get in the box.
To be fair (and agreeing with what Alistair said elsewhere), I get through about three full sets of cartridges a year (plus or minus - mainly minus - on certain colours). If I purchased those, it would cost me around £350. With Instant Ink it is under £60.
Before printing anything remotely acceptable my ink-jet printer always needed either a new cartridge or a cleaning 'cycle' lasting for ages. The crunch came when I was asked to print a multi-page document for a friend and I had to resort to buying yet another set of ink cartridges having replaced them the previous month.
On the recommendations of those learned commenteers over at El Reg, I bought a colour laser printer and, way above costs, it just works. Over the past year, including the purchase price, I reckon it has cost no more than the previous year on ink for the bloody ink-jet. I have no ink-stains on my hands, my blood-thirst has gone. I create no unnecessary waste paper (er, excluding operator error.....). I have saved myself days and days of irritation and downright bad-temper. The foreboding phrase: "The printer isn't working" has disappeared from the aether.
It was the same for me before I switched to my Brother MFC colour laser, the inkjet used to churn through a self cleaning cycle in the early hours for some strange reason and of course when you wanted to use it - no ink
plus the prints don't run everywhere of they get wet - great for maps when following a set route at a horse riding event.
I remember when printers used to do that: they'd spend several minutes making a sawing noise "eee-errrr, eeee-errr" before it would even make itself available to the print queue. Modern inkjets don't do that.
The bigger problem with laser printers now is that they are the least ecologically sound method for personal printing. The consumables come in very large plastic containers that are not adequately recycled, and used drums (comprised of plastic, metal and a whole bunch of eco-nasties) are just sent directly to landfill. Manufacturers need to get their act together.
The one thing they can't do, however, is anything about the toner. It remains as toxic as it was in any 1980s photocopier, easy to inhale, invisibly destroying your lungs and seeping into your bloodstream. Properly maintained network lasers in the office are generally safe - assuming your desk is not next to the ozone vent - but small ones in the home tend to be allowed to deteriorate and the toner to puff everywhere with each cart replacement.
Yeah - but if they don't fail miserably when you power them on for the first time in 6 months then good thing right.
I've given up on printers frankly. Last time I wanted to use my printer I wanted to do a scan but it refused because there was an error with a print cartrdge.
I have some canon print cartridges. Assumed the hardware would last longer than the consumables. How wrong I was. Anyone in Liverpool want them give me a shout. For free.
My, not so old, ink-jet printer always used to do the "eee-errrr, eeee-errr" every time it was called upon to print. Then when the print was awful, and new ink installed, it went through the same phase before printing a test, alignment and waste sheet. I always felt the printer was using a substantial part of its volume to check that everything was OK, or more likely, to find something requiring cartridge replacement. That was the principal reason for sending it for recycling (hopefully).
My newer laser printer has a little bit of a flurry as it wakes up but then the output is clean and clear. It works, which is a primary requirement of any device. In 12 months, it has worked first time every time and no cartridge replacement has been required, but then, I have a quiet life....
Your point about toner hazards is noted, but the usual sealed containers do mitigate (not eliminate) the problem.
Of course, all drained ink-containers of any printer should be returned for recycling by the original manufacturer. This would ensure the container was able to be handled and either reclaimable or preferably, refillable to original quality. Putting them in a dustbin is unconscionable.
I used to quite like HP printers until they changed the app and now demand an account to use the scanner, the multi-sheet scanner was very useful pre-pandemic for re-scanning contracts once I'd signed them in the requisite 800 places but services like Docusign seem to have taken over now.
I just had some fun right now with a new HP 9022e which arrived this afternoon (replaced my ageing previous HP printer).
First of all, simple set up wouldn't work because my model wasn't listed, so I had to use Smart Setup.
Smart Setup couldn't autodetect my printer - even after I downloaded the HP support app (which is coming off now, because it's already pissed me off by throwing pop-ups). So it asked me for my serial number. Lots of swearing ensued, because I'd placed the printer and the bloody label was on the back and the S/N was in the usual 2pt font.
I managed to get a grainy picture after a few attempts, typed it in, and was met with 'Sorry, this service is not available right now. Please try again later'.
THEN I discovered that the S/N is actually shown on the small display if you drag down the settings - it's the first thing you see.
THEN I discovered that transferring a printer/Instant Ink contract on HP+ apparently isn't quite as instantaneous as you might think, but takes a few minutes, which is why my printer was telling me it was incompletely set up, when I had done everything I needed to do earlier.
Which is why I run a rebuilt (by me) classic LaserJet 5. Cost me around $250 all in (for parts and a refilled cartridge), then I got 2 more NIB genuine HP cartridges from Goodwill for around $20 each. It sits on my network (thanks to the JetDirect card I got off eBay for $15), consuming (I Measured) 7W, until I want to print something, when it wakes up and...prints it.
Now Win10 won't support it any more, because HP has somehow broken their PCL5 driver so it prints garbage on the LJ5, but my Linux Mint machine likes it just fine, so it acts as a print server.
Today's HP can go suck eggs, along with the rest of the "ink cartridges as a profit center" companies. But the classics (mine's from 1996, if the "firmware datecode" is to be believed) still work just fine. I understand Brother lasers are the only ones worth buying today, but my suggestion is to find a refurb classic office laser printer.
They're still a bit sh1t, but Epson EcoTank printers are a hell of a lot cheaper than any other inkjets and not really any more hassle - empty the bottles into the tanks (£30 a set, good for thousands of pages, and you'd have to be a complete clutz to spill them) and you're set.
Because they're not gouging you for ink, the upfront cost of the device is a bit more, but you can figure that into your equations. I set them up for my home-based/road warrior users and they seem to be pretty happy with them. TBH, for many users, the ink sets will outlast the device or their term of employment with the company.
There’s a hotel with exactly that self check in on the A31 at Farnham. Definitely not low budget, but the boss of the chain wanted them. Despite the receptionist hiding in the office probably doing sudoku. Sometimes the receptionist comes out to help; why can’t they just check us in? Management says no. Oh and a map to the room is spat out from the machine. Map to where is not clear because it’s clearly not of this hotel!
And then supermarket self check outs. Specifically the ones where you’ve flogged your way round said shop scanning all your bits and bobs as you go. And then you get to the till and the transfer fails and you have to scan the whole damn lot again. No apology, it must have been the way I scanned at the till.
Guess this is all about saving a couple of minimum wage heads. I’d rather have them back than be pissed off for the next hour or so.
Has there ever been a case where a chat-bot actually solved a real problem? Ever? Where a screen ordering panel or log-in didn't take three or four times as long as talking to live person?
I've reached the point where I choose businesses based on the ability to phone them up and talk to a real person inside the building instead of a phone bank in Malaysia. 99 times out of 100 I can sort things out myself, but for that last 1% I want to deal with a real person, with real knowledge, and local knowledge at that.
That's how I come to be banking with the single branch Lehave River Credit Union in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia instead of HSBC. The hours that I have been saved are immeasurable.
The main counter-example for me is ordering pizza. It's easier and faster and MUCH more accurate to order through the website than over the phone, especially if you are typically ordering while you are on the bus heading homewards. The phone app is not as fast but still keeps the accuracy, so I'll take that over trying to spell out my name three times and still have it sometimes come up nigh-unrecognisable, to say nothing of getting the order details right.
The touch screen kiosks at McDonalds are horrible though. I only use them because you have to wait anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes just for someone to show up at the counter to take an order.
For actual customer service though? Chat bots are almost never helpful, true. But talking to a human is also almost never helpful in my experience. Even now I have been awaiting for a month instructions on how to return a piece of equipment, which I was assured by two different people would be emailed to me right away. I sent a follow-up email after a week but got no response.
McDonalds indeed, especially with the new ‘would you like to sign in’ shit. It takes five times longer to order than it used to. It’s now like Argos. I’m not sure I want to order food like I’d order a TV.
I recently visited a McDs in France with these touch boards, this particular McDs also had recyclable cups and fry cups. It took my wife quite some time navigate the menu in her native tongue.
Who needs reports? I can see it on the screens! I do try to pick the cleaner looking ones, although sometimes they turn out to be cleaner because the touch registration is way off and they are unusable. Thankfully my McD's still has sanitiser stations operational, so I can use one after ordering!
Actually solved? No, but one time with a Dutch bank, I did get pointed in the right direction. And spoke to a person who knew how to fix the problem, and did.
Great column as usual. Retailers and service providers seem to think that their customer is an unpaid worker that can be exploited. There is not a lot you can do but I now refuse to complete any "survey" after purchasing or using a service. They can take some responsibility for knowing how they should be running their business.
Round the corner from me is an Amazon locker, when ordering anything if possible I have it sent to the locker so I don’t have to wait for a courier. Even so after each delivery I get an email wanting me to review the service. I had to go to the locker and pick it up what is the point…..
Then there are shop surveys food surveys if the service is bad I will complain otherwise assume it was ok.
On principle, I refuse to respond to surveys. I feel that bosses/owners/managers of hotels/websites/banks etc. should try the product/service personally in order to evaluate company performance.
worst thing about surveys for service is that anything below a 9 is considered a failure/poor. For me anything above an 8 says that they went "above and beyond"
Where I worked they were scored out of 5 1 being excellent but 5 being incompetent.
One year I got a 1 score for the year. The next year I only got a 3 the reason being that as I had a score the previous year they head decided to move the goalposts on what I had to do to get the higher scores. This was down to the manager as in other teams the scoring was applied the same each year so you had people getting high scores every year.
At that point I lost faith in these feedback systems.
Mind you the next company I worked for the appraisal was done in 5 minutes as the manager said that if there were any problems I would know about straight away and that trying to complete the paperwork for a really high score was such a pain he scored everyone the same….
It is now so embedded in - and maybe I'm being a bit disingenuous here - the younger generations not to take responsibility for the simplest of problems and try to resolve things for themselves. They complain about the problem and lots of 'best buddies' (who they've never met) console them that it isn't their fault and to blame someone else for their problem/situation/etc.
In "IT" we've all see it where a user blames the System Manager because they typed in the part number / date / location wrongly. Yes, of course the 'system' should be a bit better and correct their mistake but, for the last 10 years, everyone managed to self-correct. And you, dipstick, have been doing it for the last 5 years so why suddenly have you forgotten to add that * when needed???
Some people even manage to turn the 'it's their fault' in to a best selling book. (sorry, too soon?!?!?)
5'6", blonde, inside leg 30", blue eyes, Capricorn, favourite PIN 8642
I gave up on ink-jets a while back; the blobby printing on the "wrong" paper, the cost of the ink sourced from Venusian unicorn urine (judging by the cost). Bought an NOS FujiXerox DocuPrint cm305df multifunction device cheap on eBay and it has worked reasonably ok ever since. Apart from the odd service messages requiring a restart (the error code is unknown to anyone!) and getting hold of real toner cartridges (the substitute units do nasty things to the drum units which cost real money) the MFD (printer with bells and whistles just works!
Ink absorbtion into cheap porous substrates was a problem in the 1990s. You were obliged to buy inkjet-friendly paper, which meant either it was calendared (polished with pumestone or chalk dust to make the surface less fibrous and spongey) or lightly coated with a microscopic plastic layer to make it 'water'proof.
Epson tried to tackle this by experimenting with pigment-based inks (rather than dye-based), which tended to dry quickly before it had a chance to sink into the mud. Pigment-based black inks were also darker and more opaque, and objective tests compared them favourably with laser output for text.
Cheap paper is no longer the problem it used to be for inkjet. The real problem is that manufacturers design ink cartridges that are too small and need replacing too often. I prefer inkjets that have larger replaceable tanks that feed ink to the heads via tubes, but you only find this in pro-class, high-throughput and wide-format devices. If you put that system in a desktop inkjet, the capacity would ensure the same ink would probably sit in there for too long, gradually turning into soup.
I looked at the new canon ink tank printer as it seemed a good idea (I have a pro-1) which consumes loads of ink cleaning so it doesn’t get used often), and apparently there is a ink pad which absorbed the rejects from the cleaning cycle, once this is full the printer refuses to work….
I print a club newsletter most months and that goes through my old reliable hp 4350 laser, which just works well apart from one paper tray where the pickup is damaged and it jams in the duplexer…
Looks like Epson have now thrown in the towel on cartridges. The new ink tank small office jobs have almost zero opex; maybe it was to take out the market for compatible cartridges.
I loved that one time, the huge display screen atop the Ernst and Young building facing Times Square exhibited the blue screen of death. It was visible from my office lunchroom, so of course I invited several of my colleagues over to see the show. (It was just after 9/11, so "Did you see the E&Y building?" evoked an expression of anticipated horror.)
Somewhat off-topic, but why do all Metal lead guitarists (and a large majority of <i>all</i> lead guitarists) have such a strong need not only to share their upper body scrawniness but also to emphasise it with tattoos & upper-arm bangles?
Asking for a friend.
At the end of the day, every metal band wishes they were Slade.
Or of course the legend that was Nigel Tufnel :(
Slightly related, but nowhere as involved as this, I went to Screwfix this week to pick up a folding ladder.
Normal procedure - until sometime in the very recent past at the branch in question - was to go up to the counter and queue behind the various workmen who frequent the place, each ordering on the fly about thirty different items, and involving flipping through the catalogue to identify them.
When you eventually got to the front, you'd show the assistant the text message with the order number on it, and you'd be out inside 3 minutes (that's 20 + 3 minutes allowing for the people in front).
When I went in this time, they waited until I got to the front, asked if I was collecting, and then directed me with no explanation to a brand new row of self-check-in machines in the corner.
They were self-explanatory. But firstly, I didn't have my reading glasses with me, and my arm was about 20cm shorter than it needed to be for me to read the text message order number comfortably.
The next problem - after I'd stood there arm outstretched and doing funny things winking my eyes to discern each character - was that the touchscreen wasn't as touchy as it ought to be, so it missed characters. After only three tries, I eventually got it and my ladder came out three minutes later. Or 3 + 6, if you allow for the faffing about.
Obviously a much more efficient system. For them.
Sounds like it will be more efficient for you too, now that you know to go there. 6 + 3 is less than 20 + 3 -- and if you bring your reading glasses next time, it should be less still.
Arm too short, eh? Perhaps you could have used your selfie-stick ... ? :-)
.
Another strategy is to create a pinhole by curling up your finger not-quite too-tight, and looking through the tinyhole ...
You forgot about all the online services that firstly assume that it is your router that is at fault, despite being able to receive the message that this might be the case.
Hotel with only one member of staff? Why are you staying in a Japanese Love Hotel, Mr Dabbs...?
Not saying it happened to me, no, but some years ago, when all hotels did not have en-suite bathrooms, after retiring but then awakening, regretting that extra couple of pints, visiting the bathroom and on return finding one is locked out of ones bedroom.... The visit to the manned (not necessarily by a man) reception, whilst dressed (or actually, not) evoked much tittering at breakfast.
Would a machine have been more sympathetic? In truth, it wouldn't have worked.
You got another *inkjet*? And a HP suck-you-dry cartridge subscription?! I thought you'd know better.
Personally, I got a Brother MFC (that stands for Multifunction, allegedly) laser printer/scanner/copier, works a treat.
I know this is unfashionable to admit but I think HP Instant Ink is MUCH cheaper than buying cartridges one by one. The Instant Ink cartridges have a capacity that lasts about 10x longer than those off the shelf. And no-brand inks are utter shit. Utter. Colours all wrong, consistency is either syrup or etholin glycol, f*ck up your printer good and proper.
Fair enough, totally agree on the no-brand ink, but wouldn't a colour laser be a better choice?
Admittedly, my Brother is black only.
I used to have a colour laser which was great for running off lots of copies. The problem was that although I needed to replace the carts only two or three times a year, each time it £400 a set. And every now and then I had to replace some arcane consumable part that nobody ever warns you about such as an oil reserve or a waste toner box, which added to the running costs. Not least, when a power surge fries your £50 inkjet, you can buy another £50 inkjet - cheaper than a single laser toner cartridge.
I thought that my Brother Colour Lazer had black toner .....then i realized it was very very very very very very VERY very very dark blue - they'll shaft you every time.
Oh, and get this.
I transferred my Instant Ink account to the new printer, no problem. Except that it IS a problem, because the new printer needs a different sized cartridge, and it will take 'up to ten days' to get the full ones.
In the meanwhile, I have the supplied cartridges, which everyone knows are nearly empty. And one of them is already, which creates problems of its own, it seems.
You see, I test-printed a photo of Alex Lifeson I took at a Rush gig a few years ago. Due to the lighting at the time, it is predominantly blue-ish. It came out pretty good, except for some lines on the bluest areas, so I did a head clean - all three levels. Then I test printed again, and it was better, but still not perfect, so I did the three-level head clean again.
Well, it stopped at two and a half, because the sodding Cyan cartridge is now 'depleted'. The damned thing must have been about 5% full at best. But at least the second clean had given a perfect output, so I was heading in the right direction.
The annoying thing is I have EIGHT full cartridges from my old printer, but they are now unusable (HP told me they'd be so once my previous contract was closed) and they don't fit this new printer anyway.
I looked at buying set on Amazon and almost had a coronary when I saw how much they cost. I decided against it - it was why I went down the Instant Ink route to start with.
And then I found out - I think, anyway - that if you have a depleted cartridge installed, the smartphone app won't find your printer, because the printer tells everyone who tries to talk to it that it is screwed as a result.
I wish they'd put a full set of cartridges in the retail box to start with instead of sending you some stuff that was about to be sent to landfill. I'm bloody certain that the 'empty' ones I send back have got more ink in them than the ones you get in the box.
To be fair (and agreeing with what Alistair said elsewhere), I get through about three full sets of cartridges a year (plus or minus - mainly minus - on certain colours). If I purchased those, it would cost me around £350. With Instant Ink it is under £60.
Before printing anything remotely acceptable my ink-jet printer always needed either a new cartridge or a cleaning 'cycle' lasting for ages. The crunch came when I was asked to print a multi-page document for a friend and I had to resort to buying yet another set of ink cartridges having replaced them the previous month.
On the recommendations of those learned commenteers over at El Reg, I bought a colour laser printer and, way above costs, it just works. Over the past year, including the purchase price, I reckon it has cost no more than the previous year on ink for the bloody ink-jet. I have no ink-stains on my hands, my blood-thirst has gone. I create no unnecessary waste paper (er, excluding operator error.....). I have saved myself days and days of irritation and downright bad-temper. The foreboding phrase: "The printer isn't working" has disappeared from the aether.
YMMV
It was the same for me before I switched to my Brother MFC colour laser, the inkjet used to churn through a self cleaning cycle in the early hours for some strange reason and of course when you wanted to use it - no ink
plus the prints don't run everywhere of they get wet - great for maps when following a set route at a horse riding event.
I remember when printers used to do that: they'd spend several minutes making a sawing noise "eee-errrr, eeee-errr" before it would even make itself available to the print queue. Modern inkjets don't do that.
The bigger problem with laser printers now is that they are the least ecologically sound method for personal printing. The consumables come in very large plastic containers that are not adequately recycled, and used drums (comprised of plastic, metal and a whole bunch of eco-nasties) are just sent directly to landfill. Manufacturers need to get their act together.
The one thing they can't do, however, is anything about the toner. It remains as toxic as it was in any 1980s photocopier, easy to inhale, invisibly destroying your lungs and seeping into your bloodstream. Properly maintained network lasers in the office are generally safe - assuming your desk is not next to the ozone vent - but small ones in the home tend to be allowed to deteriorate and the toner to puff everywhere with each cart replacement.
Yeah - but if they don't fail miserably when you power them on for the first time in 6 months then good thing right.
I've given up on printers frankly. Last time I wanted to use my printer I wanted to do a scan but it refused because there was an error with a print cartrdge.
Wankers!!!
I have some canon print cartridges. Assumed the hardware would last longer than the consumables. How wrong I was. Anyone in Liverpool want them give me a shout. For free.
My, not so old, ink-jet printer always used to do the "eee-errrr, eeee-errr" every time it was called upon to print. Then when the print was awful, and new ink installed, it went through the same phase before printing a test, alignment and waste sheet. I always felt the printer was using a substantial part of its volume to check that everything was OK, or more likely, to find something requiring cartridge replacement. That was the principal reason for sending it for recycling (hopefully).
My newer laser printer has a little bit of a flurry as it wakes up but then the output is clean and clear. It works, which is a primary requirement of any device. In 12 months, it has worked first time every time and no cartridge replacement has been required, but then, I have a quiet life....
Your point about toner hazards is noted, but the usual sealed containers do mitigate (not eliminate) the problem.
Of course, all drained ink-containers of any printer should be returned for recycling by the original manufacturer. This would ensure the container was able to be handled and either reclaimable or preferably, refillable to original quality. Putting them in a dustbin is unconscionable.
I used to quite like HP printers until they changed the app and now demand an account to use the scanner, the multi-sheet scanner was very useful pre-pandemic for re-scanning contracts once I'd signed them in the requisite 800 places but services like Docusign seem to have taken over now.
I just had some fun right now with a new HP 9022e which arrived this afternoon (replaced my ageing previous HP printer).
First of all, simple set up wouldn't work because my model wasn't listed, so I had to use Smart Setup.
Smart Setup couldn't autodetect my printer - even after I downloaded the HP support app (which is coming off now, because it's already pissed me off by throwing pop-ups). So it asked me for my serial number. Lots of swearing ensued, because I'd placed the printer and the bloody label was on the back and the S/N was in the usual 2pt font.
I managed to get a grainy picture after a few attempts, typed it in, and was met with 'Sorry, this service is not available right now. Please try again later'.
THEN I discovered that the S/N is actually shown on the small display if you drag down the settings - it's the first thing you see.
THEN I discovered that transferring a printer/Instant Ink contract on HP+ apparently isn't quite as instantaneous as you might think, but takes a few minutes, which is why my printer was telling me it was incompletely set up, when I had done everything I needed to do earlier.
It's working now.
Which is why I run a rebuilt (by me) classic LaserJet 5. Cost me around $250 all in (for parts and a refilled cartridge), then I got 2 more NIB genuine HP cartridges from Goodwill for around $20 each. It sits on my network (thanks to the JetDirect card I got off eBay for $15), consuming (I Measured) 7W, until I want to print something, when it wakes up and...prints it.
Now Win10 won't support it any more, because HP has somehow broken their PCL5 driver so it prints garbage on the LJ5, but my Linux Mint machine likes it just fine, so it acts as a print server.
Today's HP can go suck eggs, along with the rest of the "ink cartridges as a profit center" companies. But the classics (mine's from 1996, if the "firmware datecode" is to be believed) still work just fine. I understand Brother lasers are the only ones worth buying today, but my suggestion is to find a refurb classic office laser printer.
I hardly print anything anymore..hence a dumb HP (yes, they exist!) works for my needs with no problem whatsoever.
They're still a bit sh1t, but Epson EcoTank printers are a hell of a lot cheaper than any other inkjets and not really any more hassle - empty the bottles into the tanks (£30 a set, good for thousands of pages, and you'd have to be a complete clutz to spill them) and you're set.
Because they're not gouging you for ink, the upfront cost of the device is a bit more, but you can figure that into your equations. I set them up for my home-based/road warrior users and they seem to be pretty happy with them. TBH, for many users, the ink sets will outlast the device or their term of employment with the company.
There’s a hotel with exactly that self check in on the A31 at Farnham. Definitely not low budget, but the boss of the chain wanted them. Despite the receptionist hiding in the office probably doing sudoku. Sometimes the receptionist comes out to help; why can’t they just check us in? Management says no. Oh and a map to the room is spat out from the machine. Map to where is not clear because it’s clearly not of this hotel!
And then supermarket self check outs. Specifically the ones where you’ve flogged your way round said shop scanning all your bits and bobs as you go. And then you get to the till and the transfer fails and you have to scan the whole damn lot again. No apology, it must have been the way I scanned at the till.
Guess this is all about saving a couple of minimum wage heads. I’d rather have them back than be pissed off for the next hour or so.
Has there ever been a case where a chat-bot actually solved a real problem? Ever? Where a screen ordering panel or log-in didn't take three or four times as long as talking to live person?
I've reached the point where I choose businesses based on the ability to phone them up and talk to a real person inside the building instead of a phone bank in Malaysia. 99 times out of 100 I can sort things out myself, but for that last 1% I want to deal with a real person, with real knowledge, and local knowledge at that.
That's how I come to be banking with the single branch Lehave River Credit Union in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia instead of HSBC. The hours that I have been saved are immeasurable.
The main counter-example for me is ordering pizza. It's easier and faster and MUCH more accurate to order through the website than over the phone, especially if you are typically ordering while you are on the bus heading homewards. The phone app is not as fast but still keeps the accuracy, so I'll take that over trying to spell out my name three times and still have it sometimes come up nigh-unrecognisable, to say nothing of getting the order details right.
The touch screen kiosks at McDonalds are horrible though. I only use them because you have to wait anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes just for someone to show up at the counter to take an order.
For actual customer service though? Chat bots are almost never helpful, true. But talking to a human is also almost never helpful in my experience. Even now I have been awaiting for a month instructions on how to return a piece of equipment, which I was assured by two different people would be emailed to me right away. I sent a follow-up email after a week but got no response.
McDonalds indeed, especially with the new ‘would you like to sign in’ shit. It takes five times longer to order than it used to. It’s now like Argos. I’m not sure I want to order food like I’d order a TV.
I recently visited a McDs in France with these touch boards, this particular McDs also had recyclable cups and fry cups. It took my wife quite some time navigate the menu in her native tongue.
I definitely wouldn't try to navigate these touch boards with my tongue.
How do I get access to your tongue to try? Bit of a Heath Robinson solution.
And see recent reports on the cleanliness of such screens...
This is what knuckles are for.
Who needs reports? I can see it on the screens! I do try to pick the cleaner looking ones, although sometimes they turn out to be cleaner because the touch registration is way off and they are unusable. Thankfully my McD's still has sanitiser stations operational, so I can use one after ordering!
Actually solved? No, but one time with a Dutch bank, I did get pointed in the right direction. And spoke to a person who knew how to fix the problem, and did.
Great column as usual. Retailers and service providers seem to think that their customer is an unpaid worker that can be exploited. There is not a lot you can do but I now refuse to complete any "survey" after purchasing or using a service. They can take some responsibility for knowing how they should be running their business.
Ah surveys the most pointless things ever.
Round the corner from me is an Amazon locker, when ordering anything if possible I have it sent to the locker so I don’t have to wait for a courier. Even so after each delivery I get an email wanting me to review the service. I had to go to the locker and pick it up what is the point…..
Then there are shop surveys food surveys if the service is bad I will complain otherwise assume it was ok.
On principle, I refuse to respond to surveys. I feel that bosses/owners/managers of hotels/websites/banks etc. should try the product/service personally in order to evaluate company performance.
worst thing about surveys for service is that anything below a 9 is considered a failure/poor. For me anything above an 8 says that they went "above and beyond"
True story for scoring / appraisals
Where I worked they were scored out of 5 1 being excellent but 5 being incompetent.
One year I got a 1 score for the year. The next year I only got a 3 the reason being that as I had a score the previous year they head decided to move the goalposts on what I had to do to get the higher scores. This was down to the manager as in other teams the scoring was applied the same each year so you had people getting high scores every year.
At that point I lost faith in these feedback systems.
Mind you the next company I worked for the appraisal was done in 5 minutes as the manager said that if there were any problems I would know about straight away and that trying to complete the paperwork for a really high score was such a pain he scored everyone the same….
It is now so embedded in - and maybe I'm being a bit disingenuous here - the younger generations not to take responsibility for the simplest of problems and try to resolve things for themselves. They complain about the problem and lots of 'best buddies' (who they've never met) console them that it isn't their fault and to blame someone else for their problem/situation/etc.
In "IT" we've all see it where a user blames the System Manager because they typed in the part number / date / location wrongly. Yes, of course the 'system' should be a bit better and correct their mistake but, for the last 10 years, everyone managed to self-correct. And you, dipstick, have been doing it for the last 5 years so why suddenly have you forgotten to add that * when needed???
Some people even manage to turn the 'it's their fault' in to a best selling book. (sorry, too soon?!?!?)
5'6", blonde, inside leg 30", blue eyes, Capricorn, favourite PIN 8642
I gave up on ink-jets a while back; the blobby printing on the "wrong" paper, the cost of the ink sourced from Venusian unicorn urine (judging by the cost). Bought an NOS FujiXerox DocuPrint cm305df multifunction device cheap on eBay and it has worked reasonably ok ever since. Apart from the odd service messages requiring a restart (the error code is unknown to anyone!) and getting hold of real toner cartridges (the substitute units do nasty things to the drum units which cost real money) the MFD (printer with bells and whistles just works!
Ink absorbtion into cheap porous substrates was a problem in the 1990s. You were obliged to buy inkjet-friendly paper, which meant either it was calendared (polished with pumestone or chalk dust to make the surface less fibrous and spongey) or lightly coated with a microscopic plastic layer to make it 'water'proof.
Epson tried to tackle this by experimenting with pigment-based inks (rather than dye-based), which tended to dry quickly before it had a chance to sink into the mud. Pigment-based black inks were also darker and more opaque, and objective tests compared them favourably with laser output for text.
Cheap paper is no longer the problem it used to be for inkjet. The real problem is that manufacturers design ink cartridges that are too small and need replacing too often. I prefer inkjets that have larger replaceable tanks that feed ink to the heads via tubes, but you only find this in pro-class, high-throughput and wide-format devices. If you put that system in a desktop inkjet, the capacity would ensure the same ink would probably sit in there for too long, gradually turning into soup.
I looked at the new canon ink tank printer as it seemed a good idea (I have a pro-1) which consumes loads of ink cleaning so it doesn’t get used often), and apparently there is a ink pad which absorbed the rejects from the cleaning cycle, once this is full the printer refuses to work….
I print a club newsletter most months and that goes through my old reliable hp 4350 laser, which just works well apart from one paper tray where the pickup is damaged and it jams in the duplexer…
Looks like Epson have now thrown in the towel on cartridges. The new ink tank small office jobs have almost zero opex; maybe it was to take out the market for compatible cartridges.
I loved that one time, the huge display screen atop the Ernst and Young building facing Times Square exhibited the blue screen of death. It was visible from my office lunchroom, so of course I invited several of my colleagues over to see the show. (It was just after 9/11, so "Did you see the E&Y building?" evoked an expression of anticipated horror.)