I guess the "french" version was just an auto-translated version of this one. Why? you ask. Well, maybe because of "the same fuckwitted list" being translated to "la même liste d'imbéciles" :)
In recent days I have had to contact website 'chat' and telephone 'chat' in order to clear up some faults/mistakes/misunderstandings/cock-ups etc. On each attempt I have been confronted with multiple-choice requests, none of which seem applicable but hey-ho you do what you think. They are obviously manned, er not-manned, by AI, programmed to respond with phrases in excellent grammar and spelling but have no relevance to the question being asked.
"Does this answer your problem?": Option: 'Yes' or 'No'. Lets go on another time-wasting loop.
I feel sure these bots are in league with an over-burdened health service to remove the will-to-live of a 'normal' person.
You shouldn't give them the idea that putting googly-eyes on a useless response might make it acceptable.
On the phone to Three the other day, to complain that their new 5G base station is conducting a DoS attack on a nearby building. I’m amazed at the lack of options on the menu and pick one that I think connects to a human instead of an unhelpful canned statement. I wish to make a complaint I say, not in a John Cleese accent. The man I speak to swears blind there is a Complaints option; there isn’t. I ask if he has ever phoned his own helpline; of course he hasn’t. This is why we need actual humans instead of menus and definitely not AI chat bots.
When that bizarre calico thing was shown with the googly eyes it reminded me of those strange furry things you found as tourist tat in the 90s - early 2000s.
I watched the Calico video, all the while wondering "but what is it FOR?" Still wondering by the end. The example applications they give for it all seem to be things that (a) need to be precisely scripted in advance and (b) it's not very good at. Tracking water consumption, except that it only knows when you tell it you've drunk some water and doesn't know how much. Training you on a dance move, as long as it's a jerky one with seconds-long pauses in between each stage and only involves one limb. Workout tracker, as long as you follow a predefined program and do exactly the same number of everything that it expects (and it doesn't disagree with you on the count); that one may be the most reasonable, I'm sure many people do have a regular workout routine. Not sure it has any advantage over an ordinary fitness tracker though.
You can't easily let a friend try it out, so the word of mouth sales are not going to be great. (Well, I suppose something like a jacket could work, if they are the same size as you or a little smaller.) But the big killer is surely the bit where you have to get magnetic tracks sewn into all the clothing you want to use it with, and whenever you replace any of that clothing as well.
Jul 14, 2023·edited Jul 14, 2023Liked by Alistair Dabbs
I too read (slowly) the French version before realising there was an English one. Possibly funnier in my terrible (albeit deepl - aided, for short elements) interpretation.
I work for a French owned business and have to do this for real all too often.
I don't know what's worse, Amazon's chatbot support or their actual person chat support which seems to consist of "I'm right, you're wrong" as I had a guy insist that I shouldn't have an Autorip mp3 copy of the CD I just bought, despite the fact that my complaint wasn't that I didn't have it, but I did and it was incomplete.
My eyes were googly at the end of that, but that was rage induced rather than trying to make me seem more friendly.
John Oliver vs Googly Eyes: loses repeatedly.
https://youtu.be/H916EVndP_A
There was an English version? And I sat there reading the "French" version.
It's like watching VOST English films at the cinema all over again. Fuck.
I guess the "french" version was just an auto-translated version of this one. Why? you ask. Well, maybe because of "the same fuckwitted list" being translated to "la même liste d'imbéciles" :)
It was still funny, though.
I wrote the French version afterwards, in a hurry, and my brain hurt.
I thought we were getting a double helping until I looked a bit closer.
In recent days I have had to contact website 'chat' and telephone 'chat' in order to clear up some faults/mistakes/misunderstandings/cock-ups etc. On each attempt I have been confronted with multiple-choice requests, none of which seem applicable but hey-ho you do what you think. They are obviously manned, er not-manned, by AI, programmed to respond with phrases in excellent grammar and spelling but have no relevance to the question being asked.
"Does this answer your problem?": Option: 'Yes' or 'No'. Lets go on another time-wasting loop.
I feel sure these bots are in league with an over-burdened health service to remove the will-to-live of a 'normal' person.
You shouldn't give them the idea that putting googly-eyes on a useless response might make it acceptable.
On the phone to Three the other day, to complain that their new 5G base station is conducting a DoS attack on a nearby building. I’m amazed at the lack of options on the menu and pick one that I think connects to a human instead of an unhelpful canned statement. I wish to make a complaint I say, not in a John Cleese accent. The man I speak to swears blind there is a Complaints option; there isn’t. I ask if he has ever phoned his own helpline; of course he hasn’t. This is why we need actual humans instead of menus and definitely not AI chat bots.
When that bizarre calico thing was shown with the googly eyes it reminded me of those strange furry things you found as tourist tat in the 90s - early 2000s.
Sorry they are still available https://www.totalmerchandise.co.uk/branded-products/promotional-logobugs it must mean that people still buy them.
The search I used to find that page was
fuzzy tourist promotional tat
which either reveals a lot about the company or the search engine code.
That device is seriously a solution looking for a problem.
I watched the Calico video, all the while wondering "but what is it FOR?" Still wondering by the end. The example applications they give for it all seem to be things that (a) need to be precisely scripted in advance and (b) it's not very good at. Tracking water consumption, except that it only knows when you tell it you've drunk some water and doesn't know how much. Training you on a dance move, as long as it's a jerky one with seconds-long pauses in between each stage and only involves one limb. Workout tracker, as long as you follow a predefined program and do exactly the same number of everything that it expects (and it doesn't disagree with you on the count); that one may be the most reasonable, I'm sure many people do have a regular workout routine. Not sure it has any advantage over an ordinary fitness tracker though.
You can't easily let a friend try it out, so the word of mouth sales are not going to be great. (Well, I suppose something like a jacket could work, if they are the same size as you or a little smaller.) But the big killer is surely the bit where you have to get magnetic tracks sewn into all the clothing you want to use it with, and whenever you replace any of that clothing as well.
I too read (slowly) the French version before realising there was an English one. Possibly funnier in my terrible (albeit deepl - aided, for short elements) interpretation.
I work for a French owned business and have to do this for real all too often.
I don't know what's worse, Amazon's chatbot support or their actual person chat support which seems to consist of "I'm right, you're wrong" as I had a guy insist that I shouldn't have an Autorip mp3 copy of the CD I just bought, despite the fact that my complaint wasn't that I didn't have it, but I did and it was incomplete.
My eyes were googly at the end of that, but that was rage induced rather than trying to make me seem more friendly.