Some really good ones then emulation (happy emu) I hadn’t come across before.
But then I am from the spade is a spade school, not a metal object designed for the removal and placement of different types of material from one substrate to another location….
I will have to think of some more for you to add to the list but off hand can’t think of too many.
"Customer Focused" (or the even worse version I heard this week, "Customer Obsessed"): Management speak that attempts to justify randomly changing requirements on a near daily basis.
"Data Evangelist": Python programmers that create unrealistic models of future business growth.
I haven't kept up with the BS because I don't have the patience. My knowledge of corporate doublespeak dates back to the previous generation, with examples like "deliverable" (as a noun) menaing the same as milestone or goal but with the holy gail _five syllables_
It's all rather sad, really, that grown men and women with college degrees and years of experience in their fields can believe so completely in something so transparently _rubbish_ to the point where they _evangelise_ about it till they make everyone puke.
When you either don't have any people to lead or don't have the skills to lead them. Instead, think for a bit and publish some drivel on LinkedIn about building a deep learning blockchain cloud to spearhead transformational change in the widget space.
Actually, we did get an April Fools email from our comms line provider, to the tune of the following:
---
ICUK is delighted to announce the release of its new Multi-Order Broadband Product.
This new advance in technology allows customers to use their broadband line to make and receive voice calls using a traditional telephone device whilst being able to take advantage of Openreach's extensive 20th century copper network, available to several million properties across the United Kingdom.
This new product, named MoGEA, improves on the current antiquated SoGEA offering by providing your broadband connection with its own unique telephone number. Furthermore, it goes further by identifying the area you're line is in so contacts within your local area only need to dial the last six digits of your number to reach you.
With speeds available of up to 80Mb download and 20Mb upload, we're excited to bring this new product to market and is available from your Control Panel today.
To help explain the product further, we have created a detailed YouTube video with full details, ordering process and pricing.
'Influencer': Git.
Synergy is also the term for drug induced energy. Always makes me snigger when management types use that word.
Asgardia! Hey that's close to my StarGate joke... What's small and grey, and protects Earths butt?
The Assgard!
Some really good ones then emulation (happy emu) I hadn’t come across before.
But then I am from the spade is a spade school, not a metal object designed for the removal and placement of different types of material from one substrate to another location….
I will have to think of some more for you to add to the list but off hand can’t think of too many.
"Customer Focused" (or the even worse version I heard this week, "Customer Obsessed"): Management speak that attempts to justify randomly changing requirements on a near daily basis.
"Data Evangelist": Python programmers that create unrealistic models of future business growth.
NFT: I always thought this was a mis-spelling of NFI. No F'in Idea would be close to the mark.
Only newsworthy because some idiot, I'm thinking 'influencer', will pretend to understand them.
Disrupter : One who re-invents the wheel.
Disruptive Technology : The same wheel, painted a different colour.
AR/VR : A method of making large screens which are readable into little ones which are not.
Need I go on?
You need to add "utilize". It's exactly the same as "use" but double plus good.
Has "meatspace" got out of fashion?
I haven't kept up with the BS because I don't have the patience. My knowledge of corporate doublespeak dates back to the previous generation, with examples like "deliverable" (as a noun) menaing the same as milestone or goal but with the holy gail _five syllables_
It's all rather sad, really, that grown men and women with college degrees and years of experience in their fields can believe so completely in something so transparently _rubbish_ to the point where they _evangelise_ about it till they make everyone puke.
Made the mistake of clicking your Asgardia link.
What in the loving relations is that about?
Some version of Second Life without the low-effort 3D?
...
Oh. Blockchain. Of course, that had to be in there somewhere.
Anyhu, what do they need to run isolation tests for?
Haven't there been real research into the physical effects? ISS? Biosphere 2? Or am I remembering wrong?
And surely there's tons of material from the last three years to study already.
Result: The introverts will inherit the galaxy.
Thought Leadership
When you either don't have any people to lead or don't have the skills to lead them. Instead, think for a bit and publish some drivel on LinkedIn about building a deep learning blockchain cloud to spearhead transformational change in the widget space.
Actually, we did get an April Fools email from our comms line provider, to the tune of the following:
---
ICUK is delighted to announce the release of its new Multi-Order Broadband Product.
This new advance in technology allows customers to use their broadband line to make and receive voice calls using a traditional telephone device whilst being able to take advantage of Openreach's extensive 20th century copper network, available to several million properties across the United Kingdom.
This new product, named MoGEA, improves on the current antiquated SoGEA offering by providing your broadband connection with its own unique telephone number. Furthermore, it goes further by identifying the area you're line is in so contacts within your local area only need to dial the last six digits of your number to reach you.
With speeds available of up to 80Mb download and 20Mb upload, we're excited to bring this new product to market and is available from your Control Panel today.
To help explain the product further, we have created a detailed YouTube video with full details, ordering process and pricing.
Information can be found here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Indeed, Openreach has provided extensive marketing material on why this is the best way to communicate starting at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2TOHWrGqiw
We look forward to working with you and your customers on MoGEA - the future of communications.
"Methodology"
It is used where "method" would suffice. It could mean "science of method".
IE. "What methodology did you use?" or "What method did you use?"
release date - end of the sprint after next
user acceptance - we have found a gullible idiot to represent the user at handover
continuous integration - we're sure this build will work
It's all so meta!
Holistic: the whole thing is down the hole?