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You think you’re running on empty? My toilet duck has just Snapchatted me for a refill
My fabric conditioner has a bottle-half-empty kind of attitude too
“A top-up here, if you don’t mind, old thing.”
Oh, not again. It’s like being a waiter at a rugby club night out and being asked to serve the beer in champagne flutes. I orienteer my way through the mountainous landscape of unpacked cardboard boxes towards the kitchen, using an app to locate the thirsty caller-in-distress.
‘Open wide” I sing, unnecessaril…
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