What to do with those rubbish IT gadget freebies you’ve been given? Well… Christmas is coming!

It’s enough to turn your friends and family green with, er, something

Photo © 2024 John Cameron | https://unsplash.com/fr/@john_cameron

An eerie green glow is radiating from my 1960s sideboard.

Arming myself with the only weapons at hand – a TV remote control and a cushion from the sofa – I guardedly edge towards the ghastly rectangular cuboid of varnished beech. A dull, distant thumping can be heard, growing louder as I make my approach, and ultimately swelling into a cacophony of beating drums as I come face to face with this hideous dated furniture from Hell.

I realise I have been holding my breath. I exhale with relief. False alarm!

You see, the glow’s coming from the drinks cupboard. This means there is nothing to be concerned about. It’s just the green stuff.

Quite some years ago, Mme D’s grandparents presented me with a parting gift of a bottle of an unidentifiable alcoholic beverage. That is to say, it had a label and all that, but I had never heard of it before. Nor since.

We accepted graciously, vocally marvelling at the luminescent verdant liquid inside the glass while mentally promising ourselves never to touch it without asbestos gloves. We just referred to it as the green stuff and put it away at the back of the drinks cupboard. It has remained there almost ever since.

Almost. I once made the mistake of trying a sip. Just once.